What kind of Holistic Life Counselling do I give?

I do general counseling of all kinds of problems and issues. I use for the counseling different therapies, like RET and NLP and Coaching techniques. If requested I can also use Meditative therapy. I usually don’t use meditative therapy immediately unless requested, as it is a powerful tool to get into contact with the subconscious. It is only needed when after certain sessions there seems to be an unconscious problem or when you already know that the problem lies in the subconscious.

Meditative therapy can be used for all kinds of behavioral problems, fears, problems with certain limiting beliefs, or addictions. However you have to be willing to believe and stand for the treatment, as you can subconsciously influence the treatment when you are not really willing to go for it. You have to make up your mind and then we can use hypnotherapy to strengthen your subconscious choice making.

Intake

In the intake you will tell your story, and we will determine the plan. We get to know each other, and I will explain the procedures. We can already solve some little things, but the main reason is so you can tell your story and I will explain what can be done and how I can help you.

Extended Intake

With an extended intake, the first intake is immediately a counseling session and there can be already a lot that happens. During the first intake the course of the treatments will be determined. The course is never solid, and you can always decide if you’ve been helped enough on your way. Each session is on its own. If you know the problems are deep within you, and you need more space to talk about your issue, we can plan a session of 1,5 hour. This is enough for a first intake and a well rounded counseling session.

 

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What is Meditative Hypnotherapy?

The meditative therapy sessions itself can take up from 30 to maximum 90 minutes. This can differ per problem and per goal. If you think counseling doesn’t reach the problem quite well or if you want to dive deeper in your subconscious, then meditative therapy might be the right solution for you. You go into meditative state, and while you’re there I’m going to ask your subconscious to support you in the right direction. Important with this is that I also need your words to talk to your subconscious, so it can help you even further. Each session is for that reason really personal and not translatable to another person.

For guidance against all kinds op psychological discomforts, I can help you through guided meditative therapy. The meditative therapy is sort of a meditative state where you get positive suggestions that reboot and can change your possible flawed beliefs about reality. This is how we can treat fear, but also addictions. Most of all we can change long term behavior by implementing good suggestions in the subconscious. In this way your mind and body knows and is aware of the positive possibilities that might change your life for the better!

You can also see meditative therapy as a form of guided meditation, even though it is important to also believe in the treatment yourself, so the effect will be more evident. You have to have an open mind to use this treatment, otherwise you will sabotage your own progress. It is also important that you want to change a certain behavior pattern, so you are willing on a conscious level at least that the current behavior is not what you want, and you want to replace it with more healthy or better suitable behavior.

Meditative therapy is for you if you can at least relax so you can get into a certain sleep-awake state, called a meditative state. This would have the best effects for the treatment.

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What is relationship counselling?

Do you feel you crossed a certain dilemma in your relationship and you want to hear some feedback? Do you feel your relationship is in a bad shape or not that fun anymore, or your sex life is going through the drain? All kinds of questions around your relationship are good to talk about. During an intake we can look at the situation and give an estimation for a solution or different solutions.

If you’re open for it we can totally fit in an astrological consult to look deeper into the relationship dynamics and the potential of your relationship. This can be a real sufficient method to learn and develop in your relationship. I would recommend anyone who starts or is in a relationship to investigate in the astrological side of the relationship, because it gives good insights in the dynamics that play under the surface.

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What is Single Counselling/Coaching?

Single coaching/counseling is for people who don’t feel right being single or who want to know how to improve life. You don’t know what you want, or you want a relationship or you at least know that you don’t want a same or any relationship. At least you want to be happy. In the sessions we’re going to give you total awareness of your own capacities (what are they and how to use them), and we give you tools to work with in your life as a single. Also we’re going to look at previous relationship, and if there were no relationships, why didn’t they happen. We’re going to look for obstacles and how to overcome them. We’re going to look at your appearance, what kind of men or women do you attract, what does attraction mean to you, what do you really search for and what have you tried already. The knowledge you will gain at the sessions you can not only use in finding a suitable partner, but also in contact with friends and other relationships. It’s important to know how to present yourself. Single coaching/counselling is for you if:

– you’re single but not happy, or you want to have a relationship

– you don’t feel feminine/masculine/sexual/desirable

– social pressure, vulnerability, shame, guilt, trauma

– being shy, introvert, social phobia, black sheep

– you’ve tried “everything”

– ideals, how to find the one, what is the one

– recovering from a broken heart, heartbreak, loss, difficulties in letting go

– you’re in love but don’t know how to go about it

– loneliness, scared of ending up alone

– mixed relationships (culture, religion, ethnicity)

– sexuality, sexual behavior, sexual problems, deviant sexual thoughts, sexual health, taboo around sexuality

– attracting “the wrong type”, sexual abuse

-overcoming religious/cultural taboo

– self love, self respect, self worth, insecurity

– difficult childhood

– internet dating, pro’s and con’s

– female/male archetypes

-is there more or is this it-feeling

If you’re insecure, or you have questions about relationships or your relationship, you can send me an email and we can look if single coaching/counselling is the right solution for you. Coaching is about going further also on your own afterwards, so you have to practice and you will get tools to get ahead, while you get feedback and tips. Counseling is for the emotional support and room for emotional letting out.

Single coaching/counselling is also interesting for people who just want someone to listen to them and give them meaningful feedback about their process and in which direction they might better develop.

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Counselling & Coaching

As I do counseling for all kinds of problems, I’m geared towards female issues, relationship questions, love and single questions. This is a part of my counseling where I focus on. It is important for a woman to feel good in her skin, feel loved, feel worthy, even if single or in a relationship. It is also important to have a good sexual identity with yourself and feel in balance with yourself. This needs male as well as female aspects in the woman.

It can be hard sometimes as a woman if you are alone or not in an optimal relationship. Sometimes it is even difficult to talk about it, because of shame, guilt, taboo, culture or certain convictions. Not everyone that has difficulty or curiosity with handling or forming a relationship is obviously seen as psychological ill, so you can most often not get advice in regular ways through psychiatrists or psychologists. This might also be just a step too far for you anyway. There can be all kinds of reasons why it is not possible for you to talk about your problems, or you can not find the right confidential who can help you deal with emotions, life questions, sexuality, being single or having a relationship, your future or ambitions.

I give single consults, relationship consults and consults directed towards sexual problems or questions. I’m also skilled at handling different cultures and religions in how to deal with your questions regarding relationships and sexuality. I know in different cultures sexuality might be taboo and also some kind of upbringing might make it difficult to explore your own identity. This can become an issue in a relationship where you find out that you are blocked or don’t feel secure in your own skin.

I can work with all kinds of women from different cultures, religions, all ages from child till grown up, different educational levels, spiritual or just scientific. If you resonate with the need or feeling that you want to talk or receive useful feedback, you can always contact me and we can see what is possible. Every contact always stays confidential.

We can do all kinds of exercises to let you grow as a person. These exercises come from art therapy, expression, but also tantric practices. The counseling can exist out of talking, but also exercises like breathing, meditation, dancing, scents, ambiance, mind blockages etcetera. It is a whole package and the whole person is important, it doesn’t only happen at the genitals, the whole person is involved. I’m also specialized in belly dance, gogo dance and club dance, so I can teach you how to move sensually, to feel better and more confident in your own skin

The difference between coaching and counselling

Coaching is to teach and develop new capacities and gain new insights to look in a different way at your situation. Fancy terminology talks about cognitive behavioral therapy, nlp, positive psychology. Counselling is offering emotional support and guidance in your situation.

For the session the name is not important, so you can use another name. Looking at the sensitive topics that can be discussed I can imagine that someone doesn’t feel comfortable. If your situation is psychiatric or medical, I have to send you to another specialist in that particular field.

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Basic Orthomolecular Food Advice

The orthomolecular food exists out of rules to eliminate as much factors that can cause welfare diseases in the long run that are mostly caused by inflammations.

The orthomolecular food advice suggests in the basics:

  • Eat food with high alkalinity
  • Lots of vegetables
  • More unsaturated fats than saturated fats
  • More omega 3 than omega 6
  • More vegetarian sources of protein than animal sources of protein
  • Keep your blood sugar level as constant as possible
  • Don’t eat too much, but eat with variation
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Rite of the Womb – 13th Rite of the Munay-Ki

Origin

The Rite of the Womb has it’s origins in the jungles of Peru. Marcela Lobos was the first to receive the 13th Rite in March of 2014—a twelve-year journey she never could have foreseen in 2002, when she had a dream that began it all.

In this dream, she was pregnant with a dead baby. Having grown up in Chile, a country of dictatorship and terrorism, Marcela was always in fear and in her dream, terror nearly paralyzed her as four midwives in white helped deliver her dead baby while men with guns waged war outside the door. She awakened, startled and shaken, sensing that the dream was significant, but she had no understanding its meaning.

Two years later, while organizing her room, one of her journals fell to the floor and opened directly to the page describing her dream. After a cursory read of it, she set it back on the shelf to focus on her tasks when a brutal knock came at her door. As happens with those with post-traumatic-stress-syndrome, Marcela was instantly transported into her past of war, terror and oppression and she spiraled into an uncontrollable panic.

She’d been studying the Medicine Wheel with Four Winds Society and heard a voice say, “Marcela, apply what you know.” Just then, a female jaguar spirit appeared. “I will teach you the way of the luminous warrior. Focus on your light.”

Everything looked black to Marcela, but as she applied the principles she’d learned, tangible light filled the room and surrounded her. The banging continued but her terror quickly began to recede. It was then that the four midwives from her dream appeared out of the hearth and said to her: “Now it is time to deliver that dead baby.” In that moment Marcela understood that her “dead baby” was the fear she had carried deep in her belly for almost three decades.

Marcela moved closer to the fire as a lineage of women came forth, laying hands on her and helping with the release of that fear to the fire. Later, dancing in celebration, these women told her, “Now you have understanding and you have the right platform to give this message to the world. We’ll be near you and we’ll keep teaching you.”

For ten years, this lineage of women strengthened and supported Marcela in her shamanic training and stood by her side as she led journeys to the jungle and to the Andes of Peru and Chile.

But it wasn’t until March of 2014 that Marcela was told it was time to share the rite of the womb.

She had taken a group of women to the female shamans of the Shipibo Nation in the Amazon jungle. During a shamanic journey with them, Marcela was met again by the four midwives who told her: “Marcela, your womb is ready to offer the 13th Rite of the Munay-Ki for women. We’re going to give you a transmission.”

And the women proceeded to transfer great wisdom about life into her body. In the transmission, jungle plants were carefully chosen by the women and then poured in the form of a green juice in every vein of Marcela’s body. The women then took this green juice to her womb turning it into a neon sphere of energy.

“This was a purification of my body and psyche,” Marcela has said. “And in giving me the medicine, they gave me the rite, which came as words, and I was told to give the rite to as many women as possible. That it would heal men. It would heal all of life.”

They said to Marcela:

“The womb is not a place to store fear and pain.
The womb is to create and give birth to life.”

Marcela was told that the very first person she needed to offer the rite to was her mother. And so she visualized her mother in the space and felt their wombs become one. She whispered the rite to her mother and saw the vibrant green of her own womb transferred to hers.

Marcela continued to “receive instructions” on how to bring this to wider audiences and on October 11th she launched the 13th Rite of the Womb with the women at Omega—all of whom are now able to offer the rite.

 

Become a member of the lineage and a Womb Keeper yourself

On the day of August the 18th in 2016 I did the Rite of the Womb in Almere with Ursula Aerts, a Womb Keeper. As she initiated all the women who were present, they also became Womb Keepers themselves, and give the lineage through to other women who are in need of Womb and Creative Source Healing. Healing your womb is helping you to create positive feelings and productivity in your life, and makes you aware that you should not live in fear but in joy, peace and love.

I’m since August 2016 also a Womb Keeper. So I can give the lineage directly to you, according to the guidelines that I received on my initiation. If you are in need for this ritual, if you have any questions about the ritual, please feel free to contact me and I will get back to you soon!

The official page of The Rite of the Womb is http://theriteofthewomb.com/  . Here you can find more information and you can find Womb Keepers in your living area, who can give you the rite and make you member of the lineage of liberated women.

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Book: Integral Life Practice – Ken Wilber et al.

Integral Life Practice – Ken Wilber, Terry Patten, Adam Leonard & Marco Morelli

This is a very well written book about Transpersonal Psychology. It covers the Mind, Body and Spirit field and has a huge introduction on the shadow side of human kind and how to coop with your shadow side.

This is an important vision in psychology and also to deal with psychological disorders like psychosis or schizophrenia, as these people might emphasize on negative thoughts, split ideas that may come from an unacknowledged part of the subconscious and so on. The theory to invite yourself to talk to your own subconscious and to talk to ideas outside you is quite insightful.

The main idea of the shadow side is that the things that you don’t like in your surroundings are projections of things inside yourself that you might not acknowledge. The purpose is to go in contact with that part (of yourself), and understand the wisdom behind it. I find it quite remarkable that this dialogue between yourself and your outer (unacknowledged) parts can give some real insights in how you are judging and perceiving things in a different shape, even though you really have a choice in how you look positive/negative/neutral/attached/detached/accepting (etcetera) to it. It gives insight into why you don’t like certain things, or why you feel a certain way about something, because you get to tune in to the meaning for you that you give to that certain (annoying) thing.

The book also explains about our evolution in worldview as a whole, how we grow from survival to transcendence as individual but also as a whole human community at large. This is described as the idea of chakra’s, starting with the root chakra (survival, red) to the crown chakra (transcendence, indigo).

There are really a lot of idea’s and insights in this book, and it is quite good and readable to understand the meaning of Transpersonal Psychology. If you are interested in a combination of Western and Eastern Psychology and Philosophy you are definitely going to like this book. The book is also good as an introduction in a holistic view on Psychology, as it covers mind, body, spirit and shadow side. The text is also made clear with some nice pictures and images. Overall a really nice book. I really enjoyed reading this book.

There is also a website coming with the book: https://integrallife.com/

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Book: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri Winston

This book is about the female sexual anatomy of women. It is an interesting book, because it lays down all the parts of female sexuality. It is however an introduction towards more sexual freedom for women.

The exercises come down to the idea to exercise (by yourself or with a partner, but first by yourself), it’s not much different than if you are already liberated. It is however giving you ideas that other ways of sexual pleasure are possible for women, besides the normal orgasm. Like for example a full body orgasm, an orgasm in a certain area of the body besides the genitals.

It has some connection to the Tao and the Chinese art of sexuality and arousal. It also explains in one practice how the micro cosmic orbit works, an exercise that comes out of the Healing of Tao.

A fun trick is to connect sexuality to different things that you do, so you can get orgasmic aroused from all kinds of things without touching yourself, if you might want that. It does sound funny, you can “learn” yourself to get orgasmic aroused from a phone call (from your husband) or get orgasmic by reading something non particularly arousing, by connecting sexuality with certain activities. You can only get orgasmic from something else if you already can get orgasmic by just touching yourself. It’s not just getting aroused, it means actually having an orgasm without touching yourself.

There is a lot of female anatomy in the book, so the title makes sense. However they call the G spot the urethral sponge, so that is a bit confusing, if you don’t know that that is actually the same thing she talks about.

There is a small part about the Amrita, the female ejaculation, written and how to practice it.

A lot of black and white ancient pictures of art, classy and stylish, at least artistic in some sense.

The book is nice to read and has a lot of humor and lightness about the topic of female sexuality, but for me it is a bit a starters book, because she doesn’t go deep into the how and the exercises, it is more about all kinds of phenomena around female sexuality that are possible. She does make some good reasoning towards the importance to practice the pelvic floor muscles or vaginal muscles of the woman. It is used for better sex and for stronger muscles even when you grow older as a woman, that you don’t get leaking urine problems.

At the end there is a glossary of how guys should treat girls sexually, and there are tips in the book how guys should treat girls sexually. Also there is a liberation going about talking openly about sexuality, and not feeling shameful or suppress sexuality, because in the end it is a healthy bodily and energetic, emotional and even spiritual function, if you do it the right way with respect for yourself and others.

I found it funny that she was talking about the word “slut” as a positive word, meaning a woman enjoying sex in a liberated way, not so much being promiscuous.

The writer is a nurse-midwife, child birth educator, gynecology practitioner, holistic healer, so she might know a lot about the female body and how to use the female sexuality to its full potential, combining eastern and western philosophy in this (introduction) book.

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Sexuality and the Female Cycle

During the female cycle you can notice different changes in sexual preference. It is already proven that slightly before menstruation a woman desires a more masculine man in the traditional sense of the warrior, while after the menstruation she desires more a man with nurturing qualities. Also the temperament of the woman changes during her cycle. Just before her menstruation the woman is more lustful and less compassionate, she is more connected to the animalistic side which is represented by the myth of Lilith, the first wife of Adam. Lilith is the independent, sexual woman who wants to claim equal rights and equality in the relationship. After the menstruation the woman turns into the more nurturing and compassionate woman, the woman you might normally know as your girlfriend/spouse/wife, which is resembled with the Eve. So men normally notice the shift when a woman becomes more aggressive or bitchy, but they don’t always connect that it can happen before her period, so not just during the period. It is not only physical but also an emotional/inner shift of focus.

I wrote about menstrual cycle and how the woman subconsciously feels she didn’t create a baby this time, so she becomes cranky, which doesn’t have anything to do with if the woman really wants to have a child or not. It is a primal urge that is connected to the female cycle, which is there to create a child in the most preferable case. The cranky woman is another side of the archetype of the wild woman, which can be associated with the Hecate archetype, the woman that shines through when a woman is actually not able to give birth anymore, so after menopause. The Hecate also has other qualities, like herbal knowledge, wisdom, wisdom of life, intuition and sorcery. This archetype is potent in every woman depending how much she is in tune with her own feminine side.

If a woman’s period is irregular or uncontrolled, it might be difficult to recognize the pattern, but every women potentially has the Lilith, eve paradigm in her. It is sometimes also referred to as the madonna/whore complex, which is more offensive to women, but it is somewhat the same. It is healthy as a woman to have both sides developed in you, some people would also see it as the balance of male and female energy in the woman, it doesn’t really matter how you call it, but it is important to recognize it in yourself. A woman is not always submissive and obedient, the duality is in the nature of the woman, and it is deforming the natural image of a total woman if you leave the rebellious/independent/sexual/assertive woman out of the picture.

The role of obedience is more or less a cultural phenomena of how society is shaped, and how roles between men and women are divided. Off course obedience is a good trait, but independence to think for yourself is also something to admire. However, it sometimes seems that some men can get intimidated by the independent women archetype, which is why they like the more obedient women. The obedient women is actually half complete, because the energy is only passive, instead it should be in balance. A woman giving birth also needs a lot of power to create, which is not only soft and cuddly power. Balance of both the Lilith and the Eve makes a strong and caring woman. This takes time and effort to develop, because of the patriarchal culture that women are nowadays raised in.

When a woman is fully grown is her sexuality, she can also use her sexuality as a way of channeling heavenly intuition, healing and insight into her life. She can use this gift even after menopause, because it is not related to giving birth, it is related to sexual transformation and spiritual practice.

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